The Hand Drier Personality Method

This page illustrates a brand new way of looking at personality. As I was in a public toilet once, I noticed the different ways the men (not all of them) were using the hand driers. This made me think that perhaps we could discern some elements of personality traits through the ways in which they interacted with the drier. Which traits were evident in the manner in which they massaged or shook their hands under the hot air? It also made me think that absolutely anything could be used as personality data. All it would take is a few studies to cement the findings and then people would follow it as if it were truth.

The Perfectionist

Method: Meticulously dries every part of their hands, ensuring no spot is left damp.

Traits: Detail-oriented, thorough, and patient.

Method:

• Drying Technique: The Perfectionist takes their time, ensuring every part of their hands is thoroughly dried. They might rotate their hands, spread their fingers, and even dry between their fingers to make sure no spot is left damp.
• Attention to Detail: They often check their hands multiple times during the process to ensure they are completely dry.

Traits:

• Detail-Oriented: Perfectionists pay close attention to the small details, whether it’s in drying their hands or in other aspects of their life. They believe that the little things matter and strive for excellence in everything they do.
• Thorough: They are not satisfied with half-measures. They make sure that every task is completed to the best of their ability, leaving no room for error.
• Patient: Perfectionists are willing to invest the necessary time to achieve the best results. They don’t rush through tasks and are often seen as patient and methodical.
• High Standards: They set high standards for themselves and others. They are often seen as reliable and trustworthy because they consistently deliver high-quality work.

In Daily Life:

• Work: In their professional life, Perfectionists are often seen as meticulous and reliable. They excel in roles that require attention to detail and precision, such as quality control, editing, or project management.
• Home: At home, they might have a well-organized and tidy living space. They take pride in maintaining a clean and orderly environment.
• Hobbies: Their hobbies might include activities that require precision and care, such as crafting, cooking, or gardening.

The Speedster

Method: Quick, almost frantic drying, often leaving with slightly damp hands.

Traits: Energetic, always in a hurry, and efficient.

Method:

• Drying Technique: The Speedster uses the hand drier quickly and energetically. They often move their hands rapidly under the drier, sometimes not waiting for them to be completely dry before moving on.
• Efficiency: They prioritize speed over thoroughness, often leaving with slightly damp hands but feeling satisfied with the time saved.

Traits:

Energetic: Speedsters are full of energy and always on the go. They approach tasks with a sense of urgency and enthusiasm.

Time-Conscious: They are very aware of time and prefer to complete tasks as quickly as possible. They often have a packed schedule and are always looking for ways to save time.

Efficient: Speedsters are adept at finding the quickest way to get things done. They value efficiency and are often seen as productive and proactive.

Impatient: They can sometimes be a bit impatient, preferring to move on to the next task rather than spending too much time on one thing.

In Daily Life:

Work: In their professional life, Speedsters excel in fast-paced environments where quick decision-making and multitasking are essential. They thrive in roles such as sales, emergency services, or event planning.

Home: At home, they might have a streamlined routine and prefer quick and easy solutions for household tasks. They often use gadgets and tools that help them save time.

Hobbies: Their hobbies might include activities that provide a quick adrenaline rush or can be done in short bursts, such as running, cycling, or playing video games.

The Hoverer

Method: Hovers hands under the drier without much movement, relying on the drier to do all the work.

Traits: Laid-back, relaxed, and easy-going.

Method:

Drying Technique: The Hoverer places their hands under the drier and leaves them relatively still, allowing the drier to do most of the work. They might occasionally move their hands slightly but generally rely on the air flow to dry their hands.

Relaxed Approach: They take a laid-back approach, not in a rush to finish the task quickly.

Traits:

Laid-Back: Hoverers are relaxed and easy-going. They don’t stress about small details and prefer to go with the flow.

Patient: They are willing to wait for things to happen naturally rather than forcing them. This patience can be a strength in many situations.

Easy-going: They are adaptable and don’t get easily flustered. They handle situations calmly and with a sense of ease.

Content: Hoverers are generally content with their surroundings and don’t feel the need to rush through tasks. They enjoy taking their time and savoring the moment.

In Daily Life:

Work: In their professional life, Hoverers excel in roles that require patience and a calm demeanour. They might thrive in customer service, counselling, or any job that benefits from a steady and composed approach.

Home: At home, they create a relaxed and comfortable environment. They might enjoy leisurely activities and take their time with household chores.

Hobbies: Their hobbies might include activities that allow them to unwind and relax, such as reading, gardening, or yoga.

The Multi-Tasker

Method: Dries one hand while using the other to check their phone or fix their hair.

Traits: Busy, tech-savvy, and adept at juggling tasks.

Method:

Drying Technique: The Multi-Tasker dries one hand while using the other to perform another task, such as checking their phone, fixing their hair, or even starting a conversation. They often switch hands to ensure both are dried while staying productive.

Efficiency: They maximize their time by combining hand drying with other activities, making the most of every moment.

Traits:

Busy: Multi-Taskers are always on the go and have a packed schedule. They thrive on being productive and often juggle multiple responsibilities at once.

Tech-Savvy: They are comfortable using technology and often incorporate it into their daily routines. They might use their phone or other gadgets to stay connected and organized.

Adaptable: Multi-Taskers are flexible and can easily switch between tasks. They handle changes and interruptions with ease, making them highly adaptable in dynamic environments.

Efficient: They are skilled at managing their time and resources effectively. They look for ways to streamline tasks and increase productivity.

In Daily Life:

Work: In their professional life, Multi-Taskers excel in roles that require juggling multiple tasks and responsibilities. They might thrive in project management, event planning, or any job that demands quick thinking and adaptability.

Home: At home, they often have a well-organized routine that allows them to manage household chores, family responsibilities, and personal time efficiently. They might use apps and tools to keep everything on track.

Hobbies: Their hobbies might include activities that allow them to stay productive and engaged, such as cooking while listening to podcasts, exercising while watching videos, or engaging in DIY projects.

The Shaker

Method: Shakes hands vigorously before using the drier, often splashing water everywhere.

Traits: Spontaneous, lively, and a bit messy.

Method:

Drying Technique: The Shaker vigorously shakes their hands before using the hand drier, often causing water to splash around. They then use the drier, sometimes continuing to shake their hands under the airflow.

Energetic Approach: Their drying method is dynamic and lively, reflecting their spontaneous nature.

Traits:

Spontaneous: Shakers are full of energy and often act on impulse. They enjoy living in the moment and are always ready for new experiences.

Lively: They bring a sense of excitement and enthusiasm to everything they do. Their vibrant personality can be contagious, making them fun to be around.

Messy: Their energetic approach can sometimes lead to a bit of chaos. They might not always be the most organized, but they make up for it with their zest for life.

Fun-Loving: Shakers love to have fun and enjoy activities that allow them to express their energy and creativity.

In Daily Life:

Work: In their professional life, Shakers excel in roles that allow them to be active and engaged. They might thrive in creative fields, event planning, or any job that benefits from their high energy and enthusiasm.

Home: At home, they might have a lively and dynamic environment. They enjoy spontaneous activities and might have a more relaxed approach to organization and cleanliness.

Hobbies: Their hobbies might include activities that allow them to express their energy and creativity, such as dancing, sports, or adventurous outdoor activities.

The Avoider

Method: Prefers to wipe hands on clothes or use paper towels instead of the drier.

Traits: Practical, sceptical, and prefers traditional methods.

Method:

Drying Technique: The Avoider prefers to bypass the hand drier altogether. They might use paper towels, their clothes, or even air-dry their hands by waving them around.

Practical Approach: They choose methods they find more reliable or quicker than using the hand drier.

Traits:

Practical: Avoiders are pragmatic and prefer straightforward solutions. They value efficiency and effectiveness in their approach to tasks.

Sceptical: They might be wary of the effectiveness or hygiene of hand driers, preferring tried-and-true methods instead.

Traditional: They often stick to familiar routines and methods that have worked for them in the past. They are not easily swayed by new trends or technologies.

Resourceful: Avoiders are good at finding alternative solutions and making do with what they have. They are adaptable and can think on their feet.

In Daily Life:

Work: In their professional life, Avoiders excel in roles that require practical problem-solving and reliability. They might thrive in fields like logistics, maintenance, or any job that benefits from a no-nonsense approach.

Home: At home, they might have a well-established routine and prefer to use products and methods they trust. They value functionality and practicality in their living space.

Hobbies: Their hobbies might include activities that involve hands-on work and practical skills, such as DIY projects, cooking, or gardening.

The Paper-Towel Annex: Enough Theory Scientifically indefensible

Recent fieldwork at a squash club has forced a major extension to the Hand Drier Personality Method. One subject took two sheets of paper towel. A lorry driver and a plumber each wound what appeared to be a small forestry concession around one hand, crushed it into a single damp ball and moved away. The sample is tiny, the occupations are irrelevant and the confidence interval is best described as “cheeky”. Naturally, a developmental theory is now required.

The first discovery is the Absorbency Threshold: the precise point at which a person decides that enough moisture has been removed. The second is the Enough Threshold: the point at which they decide they possess enough paper before the first wipe has even begun. These are entirely different concepts, which is useful because two named concepts already feel more scientific than one.

The wholly fictional developmental absorbency scale

We can now perform the classic manoeuvre: take an ordinary act, layer it with plausible mechanisms, add developmental vocabulary and watch a typology begin to look like an instrument.

The Unclean

Method: Finishes his business, puts it away and walks straight out the door.

Traits: Masculine. Toxic. No consideration for others.

Method:

Drying Technique: The Unclean prefers to bypass the act of cleaning completely. They might wipe their hands on their trousers as they head straight for the door.

Practical Approach: They cut corners and choose the path of least resistance for everything.

Traits:

Practical: They want to spend the least amount of time as possible doing something.

Sceptical: They are sceptical of the need to wash their hands and hygiene in general, preferring their own perspective over the science.

Traditional: They often stick to familiar routines and methods that have worked for them in the past. They are not easily swayed by new trends or technologies.

Resourceful: The unclean are not adaptable. They do what they’ve always done.

In Daily Life:

Work: In their professional life, The Unclean excel in roles that are manual and difficult. They might be builders, plumbers and so on.

Home: At home, they might have a well-established routine and prefer to use products and methods they trust. They value expediency over comfort.

Hobbies: Their hobbies might include activities that involve hands-on work and practical skills, such as DIY projects, cooking, or gardening.